Episode 6
Cooper: Do I think my partner should have tackled her? Nah. She should have shot her.
Tang: Hey zip it up or I’ll zip it for you and I’m not careful.
Sammy: So was it blondie last night or her more homely friend.
Ben: Both.
Lydia: I haven’t pulled on a uniform since we could still carry Mag lights.
Cooper: You stay behind us. No body gets hurt today. That’s the rule.
Episode 7
Tang: Did they check you for rabies? You never know.
Cooper: You slammed him up against his car for losing his keys.
Ben: I’m sorry I don’t live up to the standards set by your old partner; but I’m just about out of sorries. Savor this one; it’s the last one you’re going to get.
Tang: He would have been a real bastard if he left me while I was in traction.
Cooper: I’d rather do shots of battery acid, than spend the night with some of those guys.
Sammy: Some guys you just can’t trust.
Ben: I even got my Costco card. You can’t get more all in than that.
Lydia: Is that your car in the driveway? When’s the last time you drove it?
Old woman: When I went to vote for Obama.
Cooper: You’re not doing anything to dispel the Asian driver stereotype.
Ben: Let me tell you, her downward dog is amazing.
Episode 8
Dewey: You leave your gun in Mickie D’s bathroom? Somebody use it to shoot up the mayor?
Sammy: Gotta wear your uniform down here – blood, crip, vato, priest, cop. If people don’t know what gang your from, you’re just a victim down here.
Ruben: She managed to get some very interesting angles with her iPhone.
Sammy: Got to love a pimp. Always looking out for the bottom line.
Ben: Who wants to go to jail? Who wants to go home?
Sammy: You’re my partner. I’ll back you up punch for punch; bullet for bullet. But I’m not giving my house. I’m not giving my pension. And I’m not giving my freedom. Don’t ever do something like that again.
Ruben: Bottom line, don’t have a kid if nobody has time to raise it.
Sammy: If people don’t know what gang you’re from you’re just a victim, down here.
Lydia: Gallows humor. Whatever gets you through it, I guess.
Episode 9
Lydia: You’re a handsome kid and that’s a good thing everywhere except prison.
Cooper: So why don’t I come on over to your house and take a shit on your pillow. Would that be Okay since it’s biodegradable?
Sammy: If I dress like you maybe I can have a threesome with some zoo animals.
Fighting couple man: You never said the safety word!
Fighting couple woman: I was yelling cheetah hard as I could!
Fighting couple man: Why would you be saying cheetah when that was last week’s safety word? This week’s is puma.
Tang: I made sergeant.
Golf ball man to Cooper: Is she your boss now?
Ben: Is the divorcee make over officially underway?
Sammy: I’ve been in your shoes and I know where it leads. Now please take my advice and stop.
Lydia: Give any knucklehead enough ammo and they’ll hit something.
Cooper: An asshole with a small carbon footprint is still an asshole.
Dewey: He’s an artist like Picasso with eel.
Episode 10
Cooper: It’s the rent we pay for our room on this planet.
Ben: Sooner or later the streets are going to eat you.
Lydia: Terrell I’m not here to blow up your life.
Cooper: What? Now you’re a circus act?
Ferguson: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice.
Cooper: Are you serious? This kid already gets an A in asshole and he’s not even out of puberty.
Tang: Thirteen years patrolling. I might just miss this freak show.
Cooper: Don’t try to compare me to you cause we are not the same.
Sammy: Let me help you work your way through it. I feel like I let you down.
Tang: Some of you may have heard some nicknames for me – Pootie Tang, Wu Tang, Joy Luck, Hollywood. From now on I’m going to be Sergeant Tang.
Cooper: I was an addict. I AM an addict. I was weak and I will never forgive myself. But I am fighting every goddamn day to fix it.
Tang: Who the fuck are you? God?
